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You do not mention where you are from, but there are very few places where, in the 1950s and 60s, homosexual tendencies were openly accepted and honored. Perhaps you have noticed and suppressed feelings for other men for some years. Only you know how long you have felt attraction towards men. You may wonder if it is possible to identify as gay after living a heterosexual life for so long. I imagine that changing your sexual identity at this stage in your life comes with a host of heavy feelings. You mention your age in your question, which says to me that it is a significant factor in your self-identification. Perhaps identifying as bisexual would feel less threatening to you? Or maybe you don’t think you deserve the label of “gay”? Although both identities involve having a physical and/or romantic attraction to a person of the same sex, being gay appears to be more serious in your mind, whereas being bisexual may not be quite as definite.
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You use the phrases “really gay” and “just bisexual”. I hear that to you there seems to be a big difference between being gay and being bisexual. I will share my thoughts with you and hope that some of my guesses accurately address your concern. I have considered your situation at length and I find I have several unanswered questions that make it challenging to give you a direct response. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and posing this question. Would love to discuss this aspect of my sexuality. I heard many therapists tell me that a label is not important but it is to me as to how I see myself. It is important that I have some clarity as to which I am. I need to find a way to decipher between the two. Coming to this conclusion has brought a lot of questions as to am I really gay or am I just bisexual. I have been married for 36 years and I am recently out to my wife. I believe with some uncertainty that I am a 60 year old gay man.
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